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Inherited Scars

from Personal Journals by Sage Francis

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lyrics

"I wanna show you something,” she said
As if I had built up enough trust in her to the point where she could show me the type of thing that she had to first introduce by saying she wanted to show it to me. Instead of just showing it
Like, "Look." And I'm like, "I don't feel like looking." Like the uninterested type. So I say "Aiiiight, show that shiiiiiiit." But with a little more respect and reservation. It was my sister for Christ's sake. So I'm waiting for a follow-up line. There usually always is to statements like "I want to show you something." It kind of runs in the same vein as statements like "You can't tell anyone."
And then promises are made.
And secrets are kept.
I didn't tell anyone about what I seen or heard that day, mums the word still
I'm scared to plant ideas into your head while your rebellious side is fertile
Hurdles are getting knocked down. I'm running a losing race
Your legs aren't the only ones marked up. How many dreams have you chased?
If I could have said this to your face maybe you wouldn't have to write like I do Except I use paper instead of my body now. It's something you might want to try too From haikus to horror stories, it's something in our blood that we share
Something in our blood that appears on the surface of our skin when we bring it there My facial expression said I didn't care
Hate and aggression must've made an impression on the little kid who stared
Sitting on stairs when I would bother to bring my skates
My feeble attempt at being a strong, big brother doing father figure 8's Ripping my cape on the ground that it dragged on
Tripping on fate and hearing the sounds of a sad song
Listen, it's great sharing time now that Dad's gone
But what's with the choice of words and the body parts you decided to tag them on? I'm a vagabond who moved to modern day Babylon and then back again
With minimal contact and you know I can't ask your mom what's happening
You've got such beautiful gifts, what are you doing ruining the packaging?
How ironic. Come to think, I probably put this ink on my back for him I want you to laugh and sing more
You dropped anchor in a place where dreams go to die
And you're keeping your ass indoors
I'm asking for you to stick it out and see things through
You're asking for me to zip my mouth and keep it just between me and you Just between me and you. Between me and you.
So that’s what I’m a do. And wait for my cue
If I could have been there from the beginning
If I could be there right now
If I could promise to be there when you need me, would it raise an eyebrow? How would your body be different if I still dropped by for visits?

Is it my place to put a smile on your face?
Could I erase your body language telling you it’s all been said before?
Or change the words you wrote, exchanging your scars for my metaphors? I'd add them to my collection while smiling
Next time you want to paint with razor blades and need a canvas, use my skin
You're hiding your sins well, but I see the hell that your limbs speak
Tongue in cheek. Lying awake in bed while other kids sleep
The strength of evil begins to keep your grins weak
No matter the length of the needle, marking up one's body is so much more than skin deep Feel the pin prick. The grim reap what they sew and you're trained to say that you're fine Your threshold for pain is greater than mine
So I'm waiting in the lines that you give me, patiently
While you get cut in the lines that they make you wait in, in ways that they can't see If there's a vacancy, as far as room in your life goes
Say it to me. Don't do it with a knife under your clothes
Because the anguish of hidden skin is letting my ghosts be shown
Plus, the language it’s written in hits especially close to home
I'm most alone when I'm out of touch with the people who feel this type of pain
You might just aim for a day that it’s raining to strike a vein to take my name in Changing your uniform and altering your mindset
Has your pointer finger decided if it was a fault of his or mine yet? I bet
I know the dialect. It's nowhere I haven't been before
With skin that's sore. Battle scars that rise from our inner war
Are decorative medals of honor that our father decided to pass through inheritance And it is repetitive when the kids head in the direction of evidence
Proving the pain and hurt is relative
All this pain and hurt is relative
If I could have been there from the beginning
If I could be there right now
If I could promise to be there when you need me, would it raise an eyebrow? How would your body be different if I still dropped by for visits?
Is it my place to put a smile on your face?
Could I erase your body language telling you it’s all been said before?
Or change the words you wrote, exchanging your scars for my metaphors? I'd add them to my collection while smiling
Next time you want to paint with razor blades and need a canvas, use my skin
If I could be there from the beginning
If I could be there right now
If I could promist to be there when you need me When you need me
Give me a shout

credits

from Personal Journals, released April 16, 2002
Beat by DJ Mayonnaise.

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